On becoming more open to others in God: Asperger syndrome and the Enneagram
I dunno, we are all something. We should be proud of our ways whether others relate or not. Or whether those who relate are not so bad, so, neither are we. We catapult ourselves from the depths of comparing ourselves to others. You cook well, I burn stuff. You have a green thumb, plants die around me. And also have hard time knowing what is their reality vs. A life resulting in seeing the extraordinary in ordinary and ordinary in extraordinary.
Posted by IrisAlive on February 28, at 3: Apologies for two posts, now much to sit and pull them together. Based on what I read here, we have a few things in common with the way we process things keeps me coming back.
I chose a different route per se towards my conclusion. Anywho, I connected well with Gestalt Therapy. Not sure if that relates to any of this, but I plan a lot based on the knowing of how I am.
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Still struggling with it, but have evolved in being accountable for myself. Posted by IrisAlive on February 28, at 4: Posted by entrepreneurs on March 2, at 4: With resentment, insecurity and bitterness put aside the real obstacle is timing. People with aspergers are swift in the mind enough to quickly identify that. Except for Christmas Eve, because you know?
Posted by IrisAlive on March 4, at 8: Just a few accounts about my husband. I was in crunch time of labor 8 cm with our first child, and no kidding, after 30 hours of it, he sat on a stool and pulled out his Greek text book and started studying for an hour. His expression said that I was somehow nuts and he was going to do something civilized. He had also scolded me many times for speaking impatiently with the limited-English speaking staff when they kept wanting to touch my hand and arm and that made me feel worse.
Oh my oh my oh my. He did jump in and get back to being involved and was actually thrilled and moved by the whole experience. Last month, I was stricken with a stomach bug after our two toddlers successively had gone through it. He came home to find me lying on the floor in the hallway, halfway between the bathroom and the room the one and three year old girls were in.
That way, I could keep an eye and an ear on them to make sure they were safe, and not be as far from the bathroom, as for three hours, had battled throwing up every 5 minutes to 15 by the end of the three hours. After a bit of explanation on my part, he then agrees to actually watch them and let me take a shower not a nap as of yet. Writing this to vent a little I guess, while I know I have not elucidated the positives that would balance all of this.
Just a rare airing of the oddities. You and my husband could probably share stories and have a laugh at our expense. I get called Data, Spock, and Sheldon quite often. I am saying that he is not the only INTJ that gets called out by their significant other for similar issues.
I think it takes understanding and acceptance in order to have both partners live with Aspergers. I think people with Aspergers are not intentionally trying to do harm. Posted by jana miller on March 8, at Because most people do not exactly know what Aspergers is people with Aspergers are often misunderstood. Posted by Becky on March 9, at 9: Posted by Ella on March 9, at 8: It sounds like a different version of what happens, or is happening, when people begin to develop frontal lobe dementia.
Posted by Anon on March 11, at 1: Posted by jill on March 11, at 9: Posted by Kelvin on March 15, at 9: Posted by Joyce on March 20, at Posted by Ash on March 27, at Posted by John Dinh on March 27, at This is the correct blog for anyone who needs to seek out out about this topic. You definitely put a new spin on a topic thats been written about for years. Great stuff, just nice! Posted by Riverside, California ins quotes on May 10, at Posted by Astrolger on July 26, at 9: Sir, that is sweet!
But simply not enough. Posted by Tiny on November 4, at Caretaking is exhausting work. Caretaking an aspie is just as exhausting as caretaking a person with physical or mental illness or physical disability. Caretaking takes its toll on the caretaker, but nobody here seems to be addressing that issue. Posted by Marti on December 27, at Thank you for pointing this out, Marti. People who are really close to me are dumbfounded by how incompetent I am. So in order for people who take care of people with Aspergers to get recognition, people with Aspergers would have to get recognition.
I think most people are suspicious that Aspergers is a bunch of BS that gets people extra time, extra concessions, etc. Posted by Penelope Trunk on December 28, at 1: My son will be 30 in a few months. He has asp, diagnosed since high school. He went to tech school and has a good job.
He has more money in savings than we do. He lives with us and I make him pay rent. Cause I want him to understand that you never get something for nothing. My husband cannot understand why he has no friends or goes out. I have trouble understanding not needing to be with other people or have dreams and goals. I respect how he feels but wonder if I should do more to help push him to interact. Posted by Amy Cotham on December 29, at 7: Posted by Penelope Trunk on December 29, at 4: You could tell him about Wrong Planet, an online community of aspies and auties. There are stacks of gamers on there.
He could interact with like-minded people who share his attributes. Posted by Alita Nicholas on January 1, at 9: How do I get food? I can barely walk my dog in the yard to pee because I feel too exposed. My hair is in mats. Neither do I, except I do. I want someone to care. What do I DO??? I could only get ssdi. But they rejected me. Or is everyone just really dishonest? I can guess too!!! Finally, I had a gun. I pulled the goddam trigger.
The stupid gun jammed. What do I do?go here
On Becoming More Open to Others in God - Asperger Syndrome and the Enneagram (Hardcover)
I finally learned my left from my right in my junior yr of high school. After 2 yrs of marching in the band, too! I had surgery and I could finally visualize left and right by the side the scar is on. I still have trouble with time. I have fibromyalgia and CFS. I played with dolls until I was I will never talk on the phone.
I taught myself guitar. I need help, but I do not trust anyone. But I still have to freaking eat food. I really wish I could disappear. Because I said the f word to a security guard. I was trying to leave a hospital after a suicide attempt. I took all my Elavil and Ativan. Well, my mom would send me to stupid stupid interviews so out of the norm I wonder if she set me up to fail.
I would feel terrible. I would think I was stupid.
She would send me to talk to somebody at the bank who needed a secretary and my dumbass went. In a stupid, ugly, dumb, stupid dress too. The lady acted like I had 3 heads. Made me feel so stupid. Oh, and the whole gender identity thing — whoa! Uh oh, my mom found out when she took me to the bathroom.
Well, that was wrong! I knew it was over when I started getting boobs at 8. Full puberty by Why would you be made to endure that only to have severe endometriosis, surgery after surgery, only to have a full hysterectomy at 31? I probably was effectively sterile by It was very very painful, but nobody believed me, nobody checked until it was so bad, my doctor thought it was appendicitis, and when he opened me up, it was all dark blood and cysts and everything stuck together.
Anyway, blah blah blah… i cant wait to go home. Posted by Ellen on March 10, at 4: Posted by Olivier on March 11, at Yes, you need a like button on here just I can just click it a few hundred times and be done with it. Posted by Eddy Furlong on March 10, at 5: Posted by Notsexist on March 10, at 5: Posted by K on March 10, at 5: Or female INTJ who stocks grocery store shelves.
Thanks for always writing things even if sometimes they may be deranged, offensive, or exposing all your vulnerabilities. Posted by May on March 10, at 5: There are just too many common traits between Autism and other conditions. Posted by Aspie-Autistic on March 10, at 6: I have never met a woman with one of these who did not have Aspergers and also all the other things on this list. So a good way to solve the puzzle is to start with anwoman with one if these and look for Aspergers in the mom or dad. Posted by Penelope Trunk on March 10, at 6: Posted by layla bb solms on March 13, at 2: I have no problem saying that I strongly suspect some people I know, historical figures, celebrities etc are on the spectrum.
I will never claim they are Aspies. I did not know intimately as a toddler, I do not know thier inner thoughts, what they are like in private, what they are masking etc. Saying somebody like Bill Gates has a lot autistic traits and this shows Aspies can succeed is great. Trying to be helpful by telling another person you think they are on the spectrum can be helpful.
Saying definitely somebody is on the spectrum because I think they are is something I do not do. How autistic of me. Posted by Aspie-Autustic on March 14, at 1: If someone wants to challenge a professional diagnosis show them a copy of the report of the evaluation that diagnosed you and demand that they explain how they earned the qualifications to say whether or not you met the criteria for your diagnosis. Too many uneducated people expect their opinions to be given the same authority as those who went through years of professional training at accredited university graduate schooling and apprenticeship.
Posted by Barney Vincelette on March 10, at 6: Posted by me on March 10, at 8: Peoples need to tell others that they do or do not have a condition is part of their own rampant egoism. People should leave diagnosis to those qualified to make the assessment. It is considered a spectrum disorder for a reason. And it is probably better understood not as a single spectrum but several interlocking ones. Posted by William E. Donges III on March 10, at 9: Its true that no two people with Aspergers are alike.
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But all people with Aspergers are easy to identify. So if someone violates the pattern for no good reason, its clear that they have Aspergers. For example, if all the girls at prom wear dresses and one wears pants, but the girl who wears pants always dresses like a boy anyway, then the lack of prom dress makes sense. The opposite is true when someone uses a formal suffix on their name, like III, in a blog comment. The suffix is a violation of a social rule — the suffix is too formal in comments.
The is no logical reason to violate the rule, which means this person does not know they are violating a social rule. Posted by Penelope Trunk on March 10, at Yet I agree with III that autism is a spectrum disorder. Just as gender is a spectrum thing. So what exactly is Baron-Cohen saying?
I am referring to the New Scientist article. Posted by Kitty Kilian on March 11, at 4: Behavior on the other hand is always a spectrum, caused in part by both nature or nurture, and is the beauty of human individualism. Posted by Jay on March 14, at 9: Gender as a spectrum is scientific fact not an opinion. Posted by Danielle Wright on June 3, at Penelope, I agree with you on every point.
Otherwise life will be hell for them. Posted by Nancy Riesco on March 10, at 9: Not every relevant therapy, no. Definitely not ABA, for example. Lots of so-called therapies for autistics are actually harmful. Studies have shown that a more effective therapy is actually to educate the parents on autism. Posted by Ellen on March 10, at You are saying what I have been preaching but nobody wants to listen to me.
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Since I have adapted well enough to be a single parent, none of my doctors think I could be autistic. I have struggled all my life with OCD, depression, self harm, anorexia, bulimia,and was diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos syndrome a few years ago which is now being linked to autism. Posted by Shelley Kapach on March 11, at 4: You are handling your life because it is necessary. Keep seeking a doctor that will take you seriously. Posted by jessica on March 12, at 1: Autism and IQ are two separate measures.
IQ is not part of autism criteria or vice versa. IQ impacts how you deal with it. Posted by Jo on March 11, at 5: Do you think you help them? Other are more androgenic. Posted by Mia on March 11, at 6: Myers Briggs is completely discredited in academic training for psychology because it has never been validated. And of course everything is obvious to you because in this little world of boxes your comments rule. What people love is listening to someone who tells them they have all the answers and your brand of bullshit is very seductive to many.
But all you are doing is putting people into little boxes. People are far more complex than your sweeping generalisations will allow. Posted by Danica on March 11, at 7: I agree that Meyers Briggs is not very useful. I also agree that Penelope is not always right about everything. But I disagree that she willingly misleads her readers just to make money. Either way, this blog was about how she can often guess people she speaks to in a coaching call might have austistic streaks — and that I am very willing to believe. Even if you did not get a phd in psychology, you are able to recognise autism or depression or mania and lots of other things in others.
It happens to me all the time, too ;-. If only I could have a relationship where there is conversation from time to time but only when I feel like it! Because that is when I am happiest being alone. I am trying to get to know a person better online we have only met once in person. Maybe I am just too messed up to have a real relationship with anyone…. Maybe I need to explain my mental illness in more detail so he will have a better idea whether he wants to become involved with someone like me.
Just because stupid people have used it as an insult does not mean we need to get rid of the word. All of which were perfectly good words until political correctness deemed them unacceptable. At least for the next few years. Posted by Omaha1 on March 11, at It probably was in the past but it is not now. You might not have racist attitudes but that is how you will be perceived.
You might think that is nonsense, you might feel very angry because people are objecting to your use of the word, but that is how it is: Posted by Ellie on October 11, at 9: They are called thought police and social justice warroirs but what it comes down to is that they are bullies.
Negro and retarded have become words synonymous with bigots because society let the bullies have thier way. Bullies are never satisfied, once they see you caved in, they will demand more knowing they will get more. Autistic is now use as a replacement insult for retard which became politically incorrect. Posted by Autistic on October 11, at 1: It has not absolutely zilch to do with being a bully or a bigot, quite the opposite in fact.
You could but you choose not to. Okay, your choice, but there are consequences of that choice whether you want to acknowledge it or not. Insisting on using these words just makes the person using them look intolerant and unpleasant. Posted by Ellie on October 11, at 4: If only they said please. This is not this is Usually what follows for using the words negro or colored people or retarded is bieng called a hater or a racist.
If you are a public figure of any note and use those words there goes your career and you may look forward to having your computer account hacked.
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It never ends it seems. I have a different view about how to deal with the problem of legitimate words being turned into insults. It is called reappropriation. The hippies turned the insult around and started calling themselves freaks with a sense of pride. Posted by Autistic on October 11, at 9: I wondered if you would tell me I have aspergers. It was very obvious my sister has it, and it was very offensive to say there was something wrong. Now, as an adult she really struggles. I feel like there is a huge difference between aspergers and autism.
Having a child who is diagnosed with autism, I can see it. Posted by sarah on March 11, at A school that focuses solely on math and science and admits people purely based on their abilities in those fields without regard for gender or ethnicity is a near-perfect filtering mechanism for finding high-functioning folks on the spectrum, of both genders. Posted by Chris Yeh on March 11, at Posted by The Dagnosed Aspwhole on March 11, at 2: One is an Aspie one or one is not.
A diagnosis either self or by a licenced proffessional has nothing to do with it. I was diagnosed at age I did not suddenly become autistic the day I was diagnosed. On the other hand if the clinicion with over 30 years experience with autism misdiagnosed me I am not an Aspie despite the official diagnostic report saying so. Posted by Aspie-Autistic on March 14, at 1: Posted by C on March 14, at 9: Posted by Sofia on March 11, at 2: Posted by Jana on March 11, at 5: About a month ago, I wrote to my brother to ask him and his wife who is a nurse practitioner their opinion about me getting tested for high functioning autism.
I sent them a list of relevant characteristics, and they told me that even though on paper I may seem to have Aspergers, the way I behave face to face would indicate otherwise. Posted by Jennifer on March 11, at 5: Asperger Syndrome is not an actual diagnosis anymore. Rather, it all falls under the category of Autism Spectrum Disorder. You can visit their website which is http: Locally, you can keep asking your physicians if they know where you can get evaluated.
Keep asking no matter what you are told. You will not know if you have autism until you are formally tested. As an adult, I had trouble finding a team to test me. I got lucky when a friend of a friend heard my story. She had connections with the Medical University of South Carolina. Included in the evaluation are sensory issues, childhood behaviors, and a great deal of information not observed just by looking at a person. Just the summary of my evaluation was 26 pages long so that gives you an idea of just how much a psychologist needs to consider when making a diagnosis.
A diagnosis helped me to understand the hidden problems I had, especially health problems which have all cleared up now. There is also a high incidence of thyroid problems in autistic females, and that in and of itself can really mess you up. Posted by Kelly on March 13, at 5: Posted by Jennifer on March 13, at 8: By that time what choices are left to make that will optomize your potential or minimize your pain? Posted by Laura on March 12, at 7: I did things earlier in life like go to college for a carrier that is extremely people and charisma oriented that if I would have admitted to myself that I was not a good fit for and looked at other options I would have been much better off long term.
Posted by Tony on March 12, at 8: After reading through the comments, I later realized that pretty much no one addressed anything you said about yourself and your experiences, so I am going to do it. Additionally, you have sleep problems as do I which make it harder to be in sync with the rest of the world, thereby perpetuating the social isolation. What do you know? I was diagnosed with HFA in I have an above average I. I have a quick and great sense of humor and have always passed for normal…. I, too, can tell within a few minutes if a person male or female is autistic, no matter how high functioning they are.
And yes, females have their own tell-tale signs. ASD presents very differently in girls and women. It is easy for me to talk to men and even to be respected by them, who are, in turn, widely known I am friends with a man who was once a roommate of Desmond Tutu, for example , but the loneliness from not having close female friendships is a butt kicker. Posted by Kelly Noll on March 12, at Its surprising to me how much better it makes me feel to have a person write a comment like this.
I hope if I write thank you more times then more people will read your comment. Maybe more people will understand. Posted by Penelope Trunk on June 3, at OMG, everyone has autism now. You, Seinfeld, Gates, Einstein. Every condition is an excess of something to the point that you are debilitated in some way. Not just because you share a similarity. If you like a tidy house, do you have OCD? If you cuss like a sailor, do you have Tourettes?
If you are vain, are you now a pathological narcissist? I have two sons on the spectrum. One is very low functioning and one is very high, or Aspergers. For anyone confused, you would never doubt these young men have autism. It is very challenging. But you make it sound like so many of us have autism. Everyone has that now too. Stop it already with the labeling of everything. People love to use labels as excuses. Posted by Max on March 12, at This is the kind of idiocy and ignorance I meant in my own comment.
I ended up in advanced classes instead. I rarely studied and never missed the honor roll in 13 years of elementary and high school. I also then realized I had a serious inability to get along with other people—I figured there had to be a root cause. I was evaluated by a team of psychologists associated with the Medical University of South Carolina.
Prior to face to face meetings with that team, they interviewed family members and sent me one questionnaire after another. The process took an entire 9 months. Because one has to meet stringent criteria to receive an autism diagnosis. No matter how well I appear to function in the opinion of others. Posted by Kelly Noll on March 12, at 1: Check copyright status Cite this Title On becoming more open to others in God: Published [Melbourne, ] Medium [manuscript] Physical Description ix, p. Subjects Asperger's syndrome -- Case studies.
Enneagram -- Case studies. Autoethnography Notes Thesis D. View online Borrow Buy. Set up My libraries How do I set up "My libraries"? This single location in All: