EXTREME HUMILIATION 1
Humiliation involves power, actually an abuse of power, over those lower in status than the ones who now are inappropriately exercising their power. Humiliation involves control, sometimes aggressive control, to stop people from speaking their mind, or trying to exercise a justice that is inconvenient for those who have the power. The powerlessness of those humiliated can create a kind of learned helplessness that turns to anger as if there is nowhere to turn. The person may want to run, feel anxiety, a swelling anger that depletes energy, and can lead, in the long-run, to post- traumatic stress.
For example, in one post here on Psychology Today , the author suggests that martyrdom is the antidote to humiliation. The example is of a person who set himself afire to protest humiliation and his martyrdom sparked a revolution. There surely must be other ways. Another post on Psychology Today suggests that the humiliated person needs to find the strength and self-esteem to overcome the humiliation, but it is not clear how to find these. Further, the author suggests that the humiliated one may have to abandon the life that has been built up, as in Martha's case above, as a way to move away from humiliation.
As with the martyrdom suggestion, the idea of abandoning a lifetime of work seems to be an extreme form of rehabilitation that certainly should not be seen as routine self-help. The cognitive -behavioral approach may be beneficial when the person is not deeply compromised because of the humiliation.
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Now consider this thought: If strong anxiety emerges, for example, a year after Herbert was summarily dismissed from his career , he might not connect the anxiety with the build-up of tensions that started the day he was led out by the security guard. If a person has strong affect of either anxiety or deep anger, it may be helpful to ask the self: Within the past two years, have I experienced humiliation at the hands of the more powerful?
If so, then the current symptoms are not "out of the blue" to confuse and cause even more stress.
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Many people who have led exemplary lives have been deeply publicly humiliated. Socrates was asking philosophical questions and ended up being condemned by the powers of Athens and the condemnation led to death.
Jesus was humiliated on the cross. She spent 15 years under house arrest for talking about individual freedom. All of these are in the Club of Humiliation. You share a worth, a dignity, an honor that you need to see.
- 100 Simple Secrets of the Best Half of Life: What Scientists Have Learned and How You Can Use It;
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- Lebensratgeber (German Edition);
- Schaums Outline of PreCalculus, 2nd Ed (Schaums Outline Series).
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Consider forgiving those who have persecuted you Enright, This shows your worth and your dignity as you can stand in your pain and not cause pain to the powerful. This shows your worth and dignity as you refuse to displace your anger or even hatred onto the powerless in your family, such as your own children. This shows your new identity: I am not a victim any more.
I am a survivor and even a thriver who will not pass pain to others. Strength and self-esteem may rise. A decision to put more love into the world may rise. The effects of humiliation likely will decrease and so the powerful will not have that power over you any more.
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Many people see forgiving as an act of moving beyond an unjust situation. It is a pervasive and all too destructive influence in the behavior of individuals, groups, organizations, and nations.
Though it is a subjective emotion, humiliation has a universal aspect which applies to all human beings: A society that suffers from humiliation is an unstable one. The cognitive dissonance between the way in which the society is perceived and the way in which it sees itself can be so great that violence can result on a massive scale against people belonging to an out group.
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According to Jonathan Sacks , "By turning the question 'What did we do wrong? In psychiatry, the clinical terms for this process are splitting and projection; it allows people to define themselves as victims. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Humiliation and International Conflict. Praeger Security International, Its Nature and Consequences". Journal of the American Academy of Psychiatry and the Law.
What Is Humiliation?