I hate my in-laws!
When my in-laws rewrite history and tell stories that are so wrought with inaccuracies they may as well be fairytales, I remind myself that correcting them would serve no purpose. Besides, my parents do it too. My kids say I already have a selective memory, but that's just their teen hormones talking. It's hard for me to go limp when it comes to my children, so I try to deflect instead.
When my father-in-law asked my son about his grades and future plans, then turned to my daughter and asked about her latest shopping spree and whether she had a boyfriend yet, I nearly had a heart attack. With my last breath, I mentioned her favorite subject in school, good grades and latest interests. He pleasantly surprised me by engaging her appropriately, and this beat the all-out-brawl that I could've started instead if I'd engaged and gone on the attack.
Reducing your level of expectation.
Can't make this stuff up...
Expectation breeds disappointment so I've learned to assume nothing and hope for the best. Personal presumptions range from serious moral issues to mundane annoyances. Is it reasonable for your father-in-law to expect to be called "Dad? This used to drive me up the wall, but no longer, as lowering my expectations has mitigated my exasperation. And when I'm pleasantly surprised with help when I need it, I embrace it. Accepting that differences in upbringing and family dynamics make certain situations unbridgeable. I was raised by parents with equally high expectations for their male and female children.
Help! I hate my in-laws
Our family discussions are dominated by raucous debates, requiring a loud voice and strong facts. My siblings and I weren't part of the debate team in high school. We had practice every night at dinner. That doesn't make my family right or good. It's just how I was raised and what became ingrained in my fiber. Don't get me wrong, my parents drive me nuts, but it's the kind of nuts I grew up with and know how to navigate. After 23 years of marriage, I'm still caught off guard by my in-law family's dynamics - not because they're worse than mine, but because they're different, and I wasn't groomed from birth to negotiate their particular set of rules.
The law made me part of another family but my inherent training has not caught up to the law. For me, realizing this has been half the battle. I know that in-law relationships range from the good and bad, to the downright ugly.
While my journey hasn't always been easy, I'm at peace with my current situation and I'm appreciative that my in-laws will read this post with a nod of agreement and even a grin. Please post your comments and experiences below and may you not suffer marital or extended-familial repercussions as a result of sharing your experiences. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you.
A lot of time shits like that get it from their family. There was a guy I found out about once.
- A Treasure House of Chinese Fables: Second Edition - Book Two;
- Turfloop A Conscious Pariah;
- Get Your Life ILâs!!!!
His dad was beating the shit out of his mother and sister and then the dad dies when the son was like And the son just took over and started beating them. And one of my ex-girlfriends started dating him he just started beating her as well. In the end the ex left him. All in all if you have a choice run! It is not going to get better, on the contrary it will get much much worse.
And with every day you stay it gets harder and harder to brake off. Like you said with the first child it was easier than now with a second but there are other factors. You start to lose your will and you start to think that this situation in is OK and believe me it is as far from OK as it gets. People like him are also very likely to abuse your children as well so there is that too.
In the short run it might be nice since you will all share the beatings so less for each but come on - do you want this for your children? And even if they don't actually beat them what happens to children that see their mother abused on regular basis, I'll tell you it will screw them for life.
If they are boys they will become just like him, and if they are girls they are highly likely to actually seek this kind of man for them when they grow up. Finally a lot of times this ends with someone dying. When he hits you it is very possible to hit you in the wrong spot with a bit too much strength and permanently damage you or kill you. So it won't stop, it will get worse, your children will suffer, run please! How should I deal with my mother-in-law? What should I do in this situation when my sister hates my wife?
How do I handle this situation in relationship? First and foremost, after you give birth to this current baby, have your tubes tied. I would suggest that you don't tell your husband about it but have it done on the secret and never ever tell anyone, not even your parents or best friend. If you tell him, he will definitely forbid it and without any foolproof contraceptives, you will definitely get pregnant again.
Because you don't know how long it will take for you to get out of this situation and you already have 2 young children to care for, it is imperative that you don't get pregnant again if you want your situation to change. The more children you have with this man, the longer you will suffer because it will be more and more difficult for you to leave him. Talk to them about your situation and see how they can help you by either moving you out of the house or getting a job so you can work towards financial independence.
These are more long term suggestions but in the meantime, when you do come face to face with his family, you can either fight fire with fire or you can choose to ignore them as much as possible. People who bully usually do so because no one stands up to them so fight them as much as you can. You don't have to be rude or violent but be sarcastic because if they really are as lowly educated as you say they are, I doubt they get it until much much later.
By then, it will be too late for them to do anything but bitch about it to your husband. Your husband will not change, he hasn't so please try to find a way to leave him. Start looking for places which will give you the support you need and work towards a solution.
I HATE MY INLAWS!!! :: In-Laws Stories
I wish you all the best! Why did you ever bring children into such an abusive relationship? What were you thinking? Your husband is setting a terrible example for your children. If you have a son he is going to think it's okay to hit women coz his dad does so and his mom puts up with it. If you have a daughter she is gonna be scared of men all her life.
Get you tubes tied during this delivery no matter what. Get a divorce, move in with your parents, find a job and live a life with self respect. Pl don't confuse your children about right and wrong by being in this abusive relationship.
Welcome to I Hate My InLaws!
What you are going through is emotional and physical abuse. Please get some help and get out of the situation. If not for your own sake then for the sake of your child and the baby who is about to be born. Financial independence goes a long way in helping you but since you are pregnant now that option is ruled out for at least a few months.