Wearing The Skeletons In Your Closet

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I have been complimented on things like Baiseur du Dragon by a bearded lumberjack man while I was there unshaven, uncombed and in plaid patchwork sleep pants trying to get to the post office before its ridiculously early am Saturday closing time OH that's him" and pointed at me-I was afraid to get fag bashed and instead he said "You smell great, buddy! Letting others or narrow-minded societal gender-based judgements decide what I can and can't wear is tantamount to being "bullied" as far as I am concerned. I feel that if anyone doesn't like what I am wearing simply because some company's marketing division decided to say "for Him" or "for Her" they really needto get a life and start to think for themselves.

This is the reason I love so many niche scents including Nuit de Tubereuse! I never used to care what anyone thought about what I did, said or wore. It would be mayhem and chaos! I guess it is all what makes you happy and what will not necessarily offend but "bother" others. I fear the granny perfumes.

Ones I love but others, like it or not, call them old lady or grandma perfumes I even have two bottles of L'Origan for fear of running out.

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When I wear them, I don't see an old lady! I see young, very young, years and years ago. The beauty of the times, NOT the age of present. Of course Histoire D'Amour isn't that old, but to me, smells similar to the 's to me! Scents are a "feeling" for me. If I don't get an image, I can't possibly wear it.

It's like a hat that fits no outfit you can conjure up. I might like it, but will never wear it. So it's sad to limit my imagination because of others, but I do. I only wear my granny perfumes when I am not in large crowds in closed in places. And it sometimes limits my imagination for my choice of clothing, and makes it rather hard for me.

LOL I thought this was going to be about bad choices in perfume - had many of those when I was young, mainly things like Tabu, Orient, anything from Yardley. Eww, wouldn't touch them now and hate smelling them on anyone else! Wow, some of these perfumes you list sound divine! I hated the feminine version but loved the masculine scent. I could see nothing wrong with wearing it and in fact discovered many other women who wore it shamelessly. To me, there is nothing forbidden about any perfume or cologne. It is, to me, each to their own.

I don't believe in worrying about who is supposed to wear a specific scent, I wear what I like. I even wore the masculine Van Cleef and Arpels' Midnight in Paris because, to me, it smelt feminine enough to pass for a feminine scent - regardless of the fact it said it was pour l'homme. Nobody was horrified I wore it either or said that I was obviously wearing a men's perfume. I do what I please. My closet habits stem from the opposite problem - I hate using vintage because when they're gone, they're gone After focusing on gathering a backup supply of Fendi and other irreplaceable gems when I saw the Iso E writing on the wall, I'm now in a position where I want to hoard every spritz.

You can't cling for too long, because materials like galbanum will turn to nail polish remover. Been wearing a lot of Miss Balmain lately for that reason. And fortunately, I caught a rare break with my desert island scent, JL Scherrer, which was the one in a thousand whose reformulation is actually excellent. Thank you Designer Parfums Ltd.! The Fendis are still holding up nicely tho. It is funny with the idea of shame when talking of fume,s but in this era of niche worship - and I do worship some niche gems myself, by all means - I can sometimes feel a bit of shame when I wear some designer scents.

Or rant about the wonders of Tommy Girl well, I actually do. And not only for the nostalgia, but for the loveliness of it. I keep all of my perfume's in the closet - for safe keeping - but I don't have any "closet" perfumes. I wear anything I want anytime, anywhere. I don't even care if people judge me or attempt to gauge my personality by my perfume - that's their issue, not mine. A perfume I loved but never wore in public was Elizabeth Taylor's 'Passion'.

I was nearly ready to give it a go in public, except a best friend of mine who had visited me, said that it smelt like a men's public toilet, and I wasn't really able to motivate myself to do it after that. I never normally have issues wearing any perfume I love in public, but it really threw me off. But because I didn't wear it when I was going out, I ended up pushing it to the back of my shelf, and it wound up going bad because I didn't wear it much.

I have an absolute love for Red Door, yet I wouldn't go running around town wearing it. However, after a bath I will lightly spray myself and my linens and bask in the glory that is EA Red Door. On Second thought maybe it is time I start experimenting with wearing Red Door out and about. Like others, I'd never buy anything I'd want hidden. They would be my shame wears. Sorry to those who love them Normally, I do not have a lot of perfume. I choose them carefully. If really like them , I dare to wear them and love how my closet smells. When I dislike any perfume, usually give it away to friends, o spray some spaces like basement,cellar or bathroom.

I love every perfume I own, and I wear them with pride! I wear perfumes for myself. I choose the fragrance I "feel" like wearing from day to day. The only perfume I have bought that I could not wear was Chloe Love. I really wanted to love it, but it was hideous on me, and I ended up giving it away. The only thing in my closet is Houbigant Apercu. I love the concept of it, the beauty of the bottle and its beautiful name. The rich deep amber color of the liquid is so lovely to see.

But the fragrance itself is just hideous. I will never wear it anywhere, not even at home but I must keep it because of the bottle. Same with Houbigant Quelques Fleurs. Though I once loved it as my signature in the s, I sadly no longer feel the love and do not wear in public. I spray it on once in awhile at home to reminisce and see if I can rekindle the love I once had, but it has disappeared into the past.

I keep the bottle for its beauty and place in history. Is that seriously a thing?

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Perfume Skeletons in Your Closet ~ Columns

Because I would love that. Turpentine is a beautiful scent from my childhood spent living in a house filled with that smell; mom used it to clean her brushes she painted landscapes. I am so on board with that. Repost or message me if you ever find those three notes in a scent. Also Avon Mesmerize for Men. And original Avon Skin So Soft bath oil. And all the Brittany Spears Fantasy line, yes, all of them. They smell so comforting and delightful to me, but like my fondness for banana Moon Pies, cornbread, and collard greens I choose to keep my fondness for these scents between me and the four walls of my house.

Not sure whether that's from shame or selfishness. Serguey, you could pull off anything. I am slowly but surely getting the people in my life used to bigger, better perfumes. Eventually they'll get it! I cant stand smelling like a desert in public, i think its somhow childish, inappropriate, not to be taken seriously and doesnt fit my personaltity, BUT: In fact, Im addicted to smell them, like other are addicted to eat sweets and Desserts.

I love everything with chocolate, marcipan, rum, whipped cream, sugar, Almost all of my fragrances are closet perfumes. Mainly because I am a bit ashamed of how many I have and the amount of money I have spend on scents.. I let it all rip and enjoy. A conversation starter for sure. Great article; love reading everybody's replies! I guess a closet frag that I love, but am afraid to wear in public because it feels quite strong, is Donna Karan Cashmere Mist.

I quite like this one, but my mum says she can smell me from a mile away and that its beyond musky one spray only! So every time I go to reach for it, I end up choosing something else for fear of offending people. My perfume trays are actually in my closet. My secret perfume love affair always brings me back to Coty's L'Origan. My mother's friend worked for Coty during the 60's, and would present large boxes of Coty, and other perfumes for my sisters and myself.

We had a very modest life, but very decadent perfume collections. I will never forget the squeals and excitement as we rummaged through, and fought over those boxes. The warm, golden smell of L'Origan, all the way to the fresh green of the Muguet still represents the diversity of the fragrances I love today. That early taste of French perfume marked us girls, for sure. Vintage Ralph Lauren's Safari is quite strong for indoor wear, but I adore it nevertheless. My most passionate, torrid affair is with vintage Lancome's Magie Noire. It is hands down the most inexplicable, magical, mysterious fragrance ever.

I wear it exclusively during the Christmas holidays. It sparkles in a dark sapphire sort of way. There is nothing like it, and I consider it an addiction that casts a mighty spell. Everyday, "out of the closet" is the original Chanel Chance edt. I am a girl who definitely has a closet of secrets.

Interesting article, which provoked me to wonder if I have "closet" perfumes. I'm afraid that I do; partly because I love many perfumes, but I don't want to spoil them for younger generations by causing them to be remembered as "that scent that reminds me of Grandma", or that "little old lady perfume". I discovered and instantly fell in love with Shalimar in my mid-teens, so of course, in my mind, it will always be a special fragrance that reminds me of the best years of my life. I want my teenage granddaughters to "discover" that delightful fragrance in the same way, as "new" to them as it was for me.

Tabu is another one that stays at home. In our 20's, this was the perfume that turned my husband on like no other. To this day, it seems to be the only perfume he can identify; all others are either "It's OK" or "I like it", but he can't tell me the name of it no matter how unique or often I might wear it.

I didn't have many perfumes until recently, and each one was distinctly different: How could he not instantly recognize each one? Baffles me, but Tabu is the only one he knows! The only closet perfumes I have are ones I don't want people to know are really great because then the prices will go up. I'm usually generous but not about that.

Nice to see a article on the idea of closet skeletons! It's so fun to be nosy! Personally gender was never my issue, I will happily wear mens clothes some days and nick all my husbands stuff, so masculine fragrances were never a issue. It's the super skanky ones for me or the super cheap ones you don't want to tell people you own.

L'artisan's Al oudh jock strap apparently and Theo Fennel Scent serious female crotch apparently are my favourites for getting ready for a night out as they make me feel predatory like a big cougar but I'd never dare go for more than a secret tiny spritz to sniff as I get dolled up. I love both but I just wouldnt feel polished or classy wearing them snobbish I know, but you wouldn't wear your oldest comfiest scuffed shoes with a smart outfit for a big occasion would you? Others, it's simply a hint of worry that I'll smell like their grandmother but I can live with that most days and go for a good experimental blast for work!

I'd love to smell Shalimar or big florals on a man!

Perfume Skeletons in Your Closet

For me my one of my closet perfume is one that I'm almost ashamed of actually. Yardly Violets, I really love the smell, that candy scent of grapes to me and powdery goodness. It gives my husband a headache like no other but I adore it so much. Every now and then I reach for it and just give it a sniff to wake my senses. Love the article I often wondered if I was the only one that felt this way about scents. And now I know its actually a thing. This is such a wonderful article. The more I immerse myself in the Fragrantica community, the more I learn!

This article has given me the courage to overcome my shame and admit that I have a secret closet fragrance, too. I am so grateful you wrote this article because I felt embarrassed and ashamed by my 'quirk. Ever since I left home for college, I developed a strange habit of buying bottles of Brut the s equivalent of Axe.

Skeletons You Might Find in Your Spouse’s Closet

My father used to wear Brut. I grew up believing it is the absolute pinnacle of sophistication! Well my habit is to spray it onto a linen cloth and drape that cloth over my head like a floppy hat. Then I sit in the dark for a few hours and ride the changing phases of Brut right to the dry down.

I think of it as my quarterly meditation on Brut. I don't wear it but I buy it. My spouse initially expressed concern that my strange ritual had "Daddy Issues" stamped all over it. Which made me feel like a sick freak. So I meditate on Brut alone. For me it's all about the fragrance. I enjoy the familiarity of a scent from my childhood. Same reason I sometimes sniff a box of crayons. One of mine is Caron's Bellodgia. For the life of me I can't carry off the poopy diaper undertone in public. Its just too shameful: I'm not a closet perfume-wearer; I wear my all my perfumes with pride.

Good point of view Serg. I have secret affairs with Fragile, Anais Anais and Gale Hayman Delicious but that is just because my husband hates them. I doubt these scents would offend most the general public though. I wear whatever I want, whenever I want. I find the average person doesn't have the 'nose' to distinguish what is good, bad or foul smelling, or where exactly is it coming from anyway.

Why was it marketed ONLY to women? A different label and darker bottle would have been more appropriate for such an awesome lemony bergamot and patchouli fragrance.

I have some closet perfumes. Even Aroma M Geisha Noire gets worn mostly at home. I do, however, wear Guerlain's Spiriteuse Double Vanille out loud and proud, love that one. I love to pour on the Orientals and let them sing in my home. I'm not ashamed of them. I just don't want to ruin someone else's day or evening. I do not have "closet perfumes" and I myself do not believe it that. I know people who have fragrances in their collection that they won't let see the sunlight for various reasons such as too feminine, too "stink", etc.

And to be honest, until these days I don't really get it. I guess it's every man for himself then. For me, my fragrances are like an extension of my wardrobe, if I buy them, then I'll wear them. A rugged guy smelling like jasmine is always cool to me. I'm a big believer in the theory that scent has no gender: At times, there are fragrances in my fragrance that I cannot wear simply because it turns bad on my skin or I do not like the smell consequences of my blind buying habit: For those fragrances I try to get rid of them as soon as possible so I guess they cannot be considered "closet perfumes".

And one more thing that I think it's a waste of money to invest in "closet perfumes" but again it's every man for himself then. Yeah, I also have a feeling that maybe I wear my heavier beauties too rarely, even in winter, just because they seem to be a bit 'intrusive'. The truth is that we, Western people, are crazy about being clean and neat. A bit of heavy perfume can only do us good. It's only important not to overspray. Actually I like rather soft scents and now I'm starting to like cooler scents than usual, but still, my dynamic part of personality sometimes craves something 'more'.

I mean something that would match my 2 furs. For me, it's Black XS for Her. I like to smell it every so often, and it's fun, but I feel it comes across like an unsophisticated perfume a teenager would love, all uncomplicated juicy red fruits, chocolate, and vanilla - a step above a Victoria's Secret scent. I still like it, because I've held onto my bottle for years! You have given me a term for those perfumes I only wear for myself! For all the reasons you listed and more - I look forward to those days that I stay home and can wear my more outrageous, fragile, disliked by many, borderline scrubbers just in case I need to wash , rare, or untested perfumes.

Those are the days that I push the limits, retry ones that didn't work, or just sit back and enjoy a rare scent that is so delicate it requires quiet solitude to appreciate. Serguey, thank you for such an interesting, spot-on article! Or a contradictory, risky combination of both? If someone remarked on my fragrance they made nice complimentary comments, and sometimes they even decided to buy the perfume I was wearing for themselves or their beloved.

So I ended up making the same decision as you, as I guess being ourselves in our work environment is not always positive. Serguey, I don't have closet fragrances and I don't have a coffee-scented one, but since I like coffee and since Starbuck's offers dried grounds to gardeners So I think I could go for such a scent. Some fragrances I choose not to wear in public because they don't match with my personality. Once I become comfortable wearing them at home then I'll venture out into the public with them. Then there's Bvlgari Black, while I lolve the way it smells, I just don't feel comfortable in public smelling like sweet rubber.

I try not to worry about reactions from other people in regards to my fragrance choices each day. It's fun to live on the edge and makes for some great conversations with people who notice: That said, I can sometimes be influenced by reviews of a particular fragrance. A collective overwhelmingly positive opinion can make me reconsider my take on a scent, and so can universal disapproval.

Panned fragrances sometimes become "closet fragrances" for me. For me that would be Arpege, have been wearing it to work but after receiving comments like: My favorite "closet scent" is Guerlain Aqua Allegoria Pamplelune. I LOVE it, and I think it smells beautiful, but the negative reactions I get from others ranging from "arm pit" "lack of deodorant for a week" and "did a cat pee on you" assure me that I need to keep this one all to myself for cold winter days spent at home, completely alone.

Sometimes I sniff the bottle just to get a whiff of the uplifting scent, but my husband asked me to never, ever wear it if he's within 50 miles of me. I loved it when it first came out but it got so everyone was wearing it and it became so over done. Then it became passe. Got it out the other day and fell in love with it again. Still don't have the nerve to wear it when going out. One day it will be a classic because it was one of the first of a whole new genre. It never occurred to me to try mens fragrances on myself.

I guess it's more the vast selection for women that stopped me, rather than being scared, as I am "the Lady Gaga of" my workplace. I have no closet perfumes. I did once steal a mini Lancome Tresor from my mum, then she got a mini Magnifique as well, so I swapped it. Magnifique is one of my favourites, but to me Tresor just smells like old lady. Issey Miyake L'Eau de Issey is one I don't wear much but more because the top is broken and I like others more, rather than because I don't like it. I've worn both mens and womens fragrances all my life, but I will say this. Women get the most choice and variety when it comes to fragrances.

One of the true anxieties in pairing your life with another person's is the simple fact of not knowing if they are who they say they are. Though feeling you don't know their whole story may seem scary, the worst part definitely lies in the discovery. It's not uncommon for you to wonder what kind of person your significant other was with in their youth.

And, let's face it, we have all had those ill-advised periods where we've shacked up with a tattooed circus man-ape for one summer.

1. The Parade of Ex-Lovers

It may be best to not delve too deep, considering your own experimental history. Once the story about your passionate three-way romance with the Swiss goat herder and the Italian banker comes out, it can never be unheard. If your secrets are better left unspoken, assume you wouldn't need to hear about your spouse's past flings.

It's one thing for you and your spouse to share past mistakes, but it is another to discover a recent indiscretion. Sure, they have been "working late" and, yes, they do return home smelling like your sister's perfume, but that doesn't mean they're carrying on together. Besides, the lipstick you found on your spouse's collar isn't your sister's shade, and those long red hairs couldn't be hers because she's a brunette.

Even if something was going on, any relationship can overcome a moment of weakness with just a little denial. So stick your head in the sand because there can't be a problem if you can't see the facts, drag your spouse for some talk therapy, or go your separate ways. You knocked once to confirm they hadn't fallen in only to hear what sounded like cannon booms and cavalry trumpets. You're not aware of what they ate earlier that day, but from past experience they have a digestive tract of iron, so you are positive it's not food poisoning.

You didn't find any books about historical weaponry or pamphlets on Civil War reenactments laying around, so fingers crossed this isn't a new activity that holds up your morning routine. Consider building an add-on powder room to your home where your spouse can summon the cavalry in private. Somehow, despite having slept in the same bed for a few years, you've only now stumbled upon the secret about your lover's age.

The discovery occurred when the sun hit their face as they rolled over in bed and you opened your sleep-crusted eyes so you could finally see the truth. What you thought was a tired, middle-aged person bedraggled by the world was in fact a youthful something with a bleak demeanor.


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Maybe you missed it because they were remarkably mature. Maybe you assumed all of those nightclub and bar bouncers were paying him a compliment. Maybe you just didn't want to ask. In any case, you can either confront your lover or let the age issue rest.

Stevie Wonder - Skeletons

You think something odd is going on because your spouse doesn't show up for days at a time and the "business trip" excuse is wearing thin for several reasons. They were trying to get inside your neighbor's house using a ring of various keys and often, they refer to your kids by the wrong names. You confronted them about confusing the children with this behavior, and their reasoning was they needed to hear if Bobby would have been better as a Joseph.

Certainly don't try knocking on the suspected Wife Number Two's door before you confirm the existence of other suspected families. This could all be a big misunderstanding that might make you look like a crazy person! This came as a slow realization, but you've received past due notice after past due notice and whenever you have questions about the finances, your better half is nowhere to be found.

You put it together and understand your family is swimming in debt to the point of desperation.

Your best bet is to take the metaphor to the extreme and pick-up floaties and pool noodles because that's the only way you're keeping your head above water. Alternatively, you can pack up your bills and head to a credit counselor. Who says all secrets are bad? After being overwhelmed with curiosity as to where your hubby goes out in a tuxedo, you found him hosting a charity ball benefitting homeless children. It turns out your very private husband is a trust fund orphan whose kind and wealthy parents were murdered in front of him at a young age, and he's just giving back to the community!